Thoughts I Deem Notable Enough to Record

Where Have I Been?

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 04:06:22 GMT

Wow...school has me down. I am so frickin' busy. I went to be the B-Boys, and it rocked. Mix Master Mike did some seriously ill shit during the show- he cut some new beats under "So What'cha Want" that were fucking boss.

The show was most triumphant!!!

The new Trek trailer is out. I think this pretty much sums it up-

Well, almost. McCoy is pretty doable. I always liked Bones, but in this new Trek, he is pretty hot. Not generically good looking like the new Kirk, but rugged. Me likes.

Nice and Complete Like a Happy Meal...

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 04:02:13 GMT

You know, I need some book-centric icons. I'm just sayin'...

So. I have tickets to...The Beastie Boys! YES. They are going to come to Beastiegirl's (yep...that's where it came from!) backyard to "Rock the Vote" with Sheryl Crow and Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals next week. My best friend and I are finally going to see the Beastie Boys in concert. We had tickets back when they were touring with Rage Against the Machine, but then Mike D fell off his bike and broke his arm and Rage broke up, effectively cancelling the tour.

That would have been a badass concert.

But now, years later we get to go to a concert! Hurray! I am crazy excited- if Mix Master Mike is on the decks, it will be super-boss!

Oh, I had another interview for a promotion. We'll see how it goes. There was a three-part question on my experience with puppets. I so rocked it. I so bet people who stumbled upon this are wondering "WTF does she does for a living?" Post and BG will tell...

I have discovered Good Reads- you too can check out the wonderful reviews there. I am such a geek. Checketh it out here- www.goodreads.com You create your own lists of books you've read, make friends, network, and so on. You can the appeal for someone such as myself. It's a fantastic way to procrastinate when you should be working on your grad school work.

Hmm...I need to work in the "damn funny" tag somewhere, don't I? I suppose a grown man falling off his bike and then having to cancel a $60 a ticket tour isn't funny enough? No?

How about the Bob Ross Wii game rumor that just won't die. Yeah, that's pretty damn funny. And you know I'd buy that.

Because I am all about the happy little trees.

I Call That the Ultimate Bridge To Nowhere

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 04:06:42 GMT

Joe Biden for the Motherfucking Win!

Oh. My. God. Biden just gave one hell of a spanking to Palin just now. Indeed, I am referring to the Vice Presidential debate, which I already knew would be some damn fine (and damn funny) entertainment. And it has not disappointed.

Now, to Palin's credit, she's holding her own. Answering the questions? Not so much- the Palinbot 2000 is spouting off all of the bits she's been so obviously coached on. And thank god, as McCain isn't going to have her embarrassing them anymore than she already has.

And I know Biden was saving at least one zinger with the whole "Bridge to Nowhere" tag. I mean, who could resist busting out that snark?

But hot damn, this is good stuff! Biden is controlling that fire and directing it. He's coming off as so...un-Cheney. He's obviously qualified, alpha-male, and ever so assured. Bitches are going to back down from this guy in the political arena, believe me. This guy has some presidential making in the future, if he can behave himself. The man's got charisma. I am really impressed by what he has to say- Obama is the good guy, and Biden, well, he's got his shit together. They play off of each other's strengths so well. And seeing him in action, well, all the coaching in the world isn't helping Palin.

And really, referring to the middle class as "Joe-Sixpack?" You condescending bitch. It's no wonder every man sees you as a MILF and not much else. And women wanted to respect you, but even your ovaries can't override the fact that you're good at doing managing Alaska, but you're way out of your league. Eliminating gas and other taxes in Alaska may work, but applying that to the nation? For Christ's sake woman- how the hell do you think we pay for things? I hate paying taxes, but anyone with half a brain knows that if you want the services and protections a government offers, you have to contribute. It's what your leaders dictate you tithe that makes a difference. And taxing my fucking health insurance isn't the way. (Dear god, talk about lining the pockets of the health insurance companies. $5,000 to pay for your own insurance? That's bleeding paltry. That's nothing. Premiums are going to shoot up on all sides, and who's going to benefit? Big ~~businesses~~ sorry, I mean the health insurance companies.

I give you, Mr. Biden. He kicketh the ass, and on October 2nd, did a little Republican ass-spanking.

Le Sigh.

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 04:02:17 GMT

So I turned down Job A to hold out to see if I would get Job B. I just got the rejection letter today. The good news- I still have my job, and it's okay. And I could have done Job A well, but it wouldn't have been the best fit. Still, I was hoping that gamble would work out- it really felt right.

Like I said, I have a job. And unlike many, I like what I do.

On to more positive things, I found something to add to my Christmas list. One can never think about these things too early...

Classy!

A Good Day!

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 07:01:44 GMT

It's been a really good day.

As you can see, I have an awesome new mood theme, which means I now have a paid account. Yay! A big thanks to pezlikeicons for the sweet Tick theme. This may be the only theme I ever have, because it takes forever to get those things linked up in Photobucket, and then into LJ.

But today- I bought a new late 40's era dress that looks like it was made for me (it fits that well), and found an import album I've been searching for for ages at a used music store (it's Placebo's "Sleeping With Ghosts" with the bonus disc of covers.) I also picked up myown copy of UNKLE's "War Stories"- top notch stuff. I couldn't find Mix Master Mike's "Bangzilla" or DJ Shadow's "Endtroducing" though, and I keep meaning to pick those up.

Bah, I need to go to sleep. Then it's back to schoolwork tomorrow. Bleh!

It BURNS Us!!!!

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 03:47:24 GMT

Make way for some fanfic based on Jason Publick's "The Venture Bros." Chapter 1- Venture Bros.Test Tube Metamorphus/Metamorphous (depends on where the author misspells it in the story).

"Metamorphous?" Damn, it was difficult to misspell that on purpose. I was just searching for a VB mood theme, and I happened upon this atrocity on Fanfiction.net. Damn you FF.net, this is the equivalent of a prude coming across porn when looking for Martha Stewart recipes in a Google search. You're just plain not expecting it.

Gah. GAH!!!! Son of a bitch!!!!! The Interweb is a dangerous place!

I can't even begin to decide if this is damn funny or not. I tapped out after the first few paragraphs.

Ahhh!! Paperclips!!!

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:58:48 GMT

I'm a comic book geek. I came across this little vid when I was looking for X-Men goodies. If you haven't read "The House of M," it probably won't make any sense. But, if you're at all familiar with Iron Man, Scarlet Witch, and so on, you'll get some of the jokes. It's pretty damn funny (see, I get to use my tag!)

I'm Wolverine...I'm Canadian, eh!

Another Post on Twilight...Oh, the Shame

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 04:22:37 GMT

Oh gods, check this shit out now before it gets deleted. Because Stephenie Meyer is a ~~whiny bitch~~ untalented writer who finally got the memo. Oh yes, check out this link here- My shitastic book is on hold because part of it got leaked on the Internet.

Yeah, not because we read the story, it wasn't that great (*cough*there'sbetterfanficoutherethanyourcrap*cough*) and you need to quit while you're ahead or anything, right?

What to check out? Why, xlormp's LJ, of course- "The Most Popular Book in the Whole World." This parody is damn funny because she nails Meyer's bizarre tendency to write whatever the hell comes to mind. (Tears the size of baseballs? Yes, a description of a werewolf's tears from Breaking Dawn. I guess they were big, but WTF? It was supposed to be a heart-wrenching moment, and that's the best description? ARRRRGH!) Here's a link to their profile- you can access the "chapters" from the beginning. You don't have to be familiar with Twilight to "enjoy," though you will definitely get the in-jokes. Read on...

Let's put it this way- the style is very similar to the original work. It is ricockulous.

P.S.- buttfacemakani originally posted about this LJ. And as usual, it rocked.

Uh, Yeah.

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 03:15:56 GMT

So, I've been busy and stuff.

A family member is in the nursing home.

I kicked some ass in school. (One class and one thesis project to go!)

I have a job offer on the table, and an interview for another job tomorrow.

And...I'm still feeling my usual fun and snarky self. Stand by, I've been catching up on The Ultimates, I have my thoughts on the final Venture Bros. eps, and generally, I just need to keep up with what's going on with me. Because this is all for me, you know.

Oh, and the damn cat is diabetic. So I have to give him insulin twice a day, though apparently it can go into remission (cats only- sorry humans.)

See- I'm a kind and compassionate person. Because I loves my cat enough to do this shit.

Venture Bros.- The Season's Almost Finished!

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 20:56:54 GMT

Le sigh. This season is almost finished, and I am sad.

I haven't posted as much as I'd like, and so far I still think Season 2 has been my favorite, but Season 3 of the Venture goodness has been pretty damn awesome.

"Home is Where the Hate is"- We meet Sgt. Hatred properly, remain creeped out, and get some really fun Monarch, Dr. Mrs. The Monarch, and Henchmen v. Moppet action. Good times!

"Dr. Quymn, Medicine Woman"- People liked this ep, I didn't. It was okay, and certainly no "Guess Who's Coming to State Dinner," but it was short on the funny and made Rusty look like a real dick. But it did bring up the question- how many potentially illegitimate children does Dr. Jonas Venture have??

"What Goes Down Must Come Up"- Holy homoerotic banter! Seriously, it seems to be the running joke between Brock and Rusty this season- innocuous naughty talk. Especially in this ep with Brock driving the drill. The Atari "Mother" computer, Pete White action, and the fact that Rusty's dad is one crazy bastard according to this ep made for a really good one. And there was some damn funny in this as well.

"Tears of a Sea Cow"- This is up there, vying for the top spot as my fav ep of the season. The Monarch goes through the motions with his craptastic new arch, and then finally just kills him- CLASSIC! He and the Henchmen break into the Venture compound to vandalize it and as he misses T.S., screws G.U.A.R.D.O. (???) because "there's a thin line between love and hate" ('tis my guess- it was disturbing and funny). Crazy shit- it's great when #21 thinks Hank is invincible.

"Now Museum, Now You Don't"- J.J. opens a museum devoted to his Dad, and sort of cuts out the fact that Rusty was there for all that fathering, and J.J. was just along for the ride. It's great- you have the origins of Spider-Skull island, supervillian shenanigans, and the news that Col. Gentleman wasn't really dead- just in sugar shock when Hank and Dean saw him last. Richard Impossible is having a tough time without Sally, and it seems that the Pirate Captain is also nursing a crush on her, though she's into J.J. who is only into...himself. (He does take after dad.) I liked this a lot.

"The Lepidopterists"- The Monarch gets a new arching assignment- J.J. Venture. J.J. quickly escalates the fight, O.S.I. is called in, and the Henchmen are sent in on a secret mission to sabotage Spider-Skull island. Highlights- the Monarch mentioning Star Trek, J.J. having a Voltron/Mech sort of fighting robot and kicking ass, but the Monarch outthinking his new opponent and working the rules against mini-Venture. And Dr. Girlfriend/Wife has his back. I was so hoping for a Monarch T this week. Dammit guys, give me a proper Monarch T!

Okay, I'm caught up. MechaShiva!! MechaShiva!!!!

Edward Cullen is a Fucking Hufflepuff

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 03:56:05 GMT

...and Twilight is a piece of glorified fanfiction. Bella Swan=Mary Sue.   Stephenie Meyer=self-esteem and independence in young teenage women is bad.

And I was sucked in at first. It reads quickly.   Then you think back and can't remember much of it. But as I read it a year or so ago, I was wincing at some of the language and the damn funny situations. Hey, I got to keep current with the clientele.

Now, I have to put something together for this in conjunction for work. Oh, yay. Yay yay yay. But hey, I'm getting paid for it, so it's all good. Still, this fan community is absolutely rabid with hormones and Mountain Dew.   They have the fanaticism of the Star Wars crew, without the maturity, or the sheer number...yet. But it grows. It's cultish indeed. Twilight Kool-Aid, anyone?

I thought this link was pretty good- it counts the cliches, and then has a great parody. http://otahyoni.livejournal.com/130432.html

This kind soul takes one for the team and keeps count of the silly shit, like how many times (4!) Bella/the author (one in the same!) says Edward's breath smells good/beautiful/sweet/whatever.

The actor playing sexy vampire Edward Cullen in the movie adaptation is the same guy who played Cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter movies. Not so badass now, are we Edward?

God, this book smokes the cock. The second is worse, and I couldn't finish the third. Paste on your smiley face, BG- you're going to need it to survive the fans at work next week.

Uh, this somehow negates the sucktasticness of Twilight? No, we just needed silliness, and we needed it now!

Reports of My Death are Greatly Exaggerated, and So On...

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 03:27:46 GMT

I'm feeling better. I've just been busy with school. I'm not dead, hence the Twain quote which has been used to, uh...death?

So yeah, interesting times. "Good Times" as Dr. Drew would say. Fucking crazy people coming into work is more like it.

I had to wait on this guy who, unknown to me, kept (ahem) adjusting himself. I couldn't see because I was seated and working on the computer. Anyway, my coworker relieves me, and I pass this customer on to my coworker. I step in the workroom, and another coworker mentions this customer. I look out, and this guy's baggy pants are filled out like nobody's business. The flag was at full-mast, he was sporting wood, a trouser tent, whatever. It was so there.

And today, another guy went into a rant about his (very) short shorts. And this is a creepy guy. I didn't want to look, but yes, they are usually short. This guy is in his 30's, but has one hell of a combover, has a date with the shower maybe twice a week, and rides a sweet-ass (in the 80's, to a sixth-grader...maybe) BMX bike that he chains to a tree with a "Jacob Marley chain." Ewww, eww, ewwww!

Of course, a coworker saw I was cornered by Creepy Guy, made eye contact with me twice, and then laughed about it with another person. (I find this out after the fact.)

DICK MOVE.

Smackdown of the Gods, that's all I have to say. When some nasty chick expresses a hint of interest in you, Dear Coworker, I shall mention you are single and looking. And a Taurus. It's a comin'...

Seriously, WTF is up with the strange men who have come a courtin'? I need one of these just to deal with the aroma.

Apparently, I attract high-quality guys.
(Oh, you weren't all bad. There was one Aquarian I was particularly fond of, and he wasn't all that bad at all back in the day...)

Ughhhhh........

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 22:50:34 GMT

Bastard body. I don't get hangovers (well, there was that one time, but it was only once, and that may have been borderline alcohol poisoning...) but I do get sick. And right now, I feel like ass.

I should do some schoolwork so I don't get behind. My apartment really needs to be vacuumed. And the dishes...dear lord, the dishes. They don't smell, but there are an assload in the sink, which is odd, since I haven't been eating all that much. I should move those to the dishwasher.

Instead, I only have the ability to type on the laptop. And now, I think I shall go back to sleep. The mind is so willing, but the rest of me feels like shit.

ARRGH!

JLA and Hitman...on the Darkside. Bueno!!!

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 03:46:22 GMT

Oh, check out my icon! I made it myself, since there are no Hitman icons out there. I should post some. Geez, I'm becoming such a LJ nerd.

Anyway, onto the Hitman/JLA crossover. It was badass. I almost busted out the Mr. T "Badass" icon, but I thought Tommy looking all sexy in his suit would be far more apt. Tread carefully now...there are spoilers aplenty!

Okay, so "On the Darkside" takes place during the original run of Hitman, so the first part is like a family reunion. We get to see all of the old gang- Ringo, Natt (hee hee- more on Natt later), Hacken, and even Sixpack (of Section Eight fame...but no Bueno Excellente. Though the Green Lantern mentions him briefly, because once you meet ol' Bueno, you never forget it...)

Sean Noonan is there, which is a bit heart-wrenching, and if you read the Hitman story arc "The Old Dog," then you'll know why. And if you haven't then go read it. You can find it on eBay, at your comics shop, or even through more nefarious means such as Bittorrent (from what I hear.)

So the premise- Superman is giving an interview to a kid reporter in the guise of Clark Kent. He decides to tell him a story classified by the government about, as Clark puts it, "different kinds of courage."

And so goes the story. Superman is portrayed not as the one-dimensional goody-goody that he usually gets, but as a conflicted superhero who is good, but has to make difficult choices as to when to make sacrifices to the greater good. And we get to see how hard it is for him to shoulder the guilt that comes with those choices- in a way, he's still so alien.

Batman is portrayed as a dick. Bats is probably my favorite psychopathic (not so) superhero, but it's fun to see a different side of him. They refer back to different issues of the original Hitman run throughout these two comics, one of which is when Tommy Monaghan made an enemy of Bats- not just as a hired hitman, but also when he threw up on Batman's shoes. Yup, he did it. And yes, he made Batman's list.

Fucking awesome. I love you, Tommy Monaghan. And I love this comic.

I thought these two books could have easily ran through three so we could have had a bit more plot development. Things worked out a bit too cleanly at the end, but at the same time, it was all about the larger story- different kinds of courage.

Tommy Monaghan, a.k.a. Hitman, was a product of the craptastic "Bloodlines" campaign, where aliens swept down and sucked the spinal fluid out of people. The few survivors developed superpowers and got their own titles (most of which tanked- good job, DC!) So while Tommy has x-ray vision and telekinesis, he was never a "superhero." Hell, he rarely used his powers in the series because they gave him a headache. The only thing he really did was start taking contracts on wayward superheroes. But Tommy was never a good guy. He was a poor orphan from the Cauldron- an economically depressed section of Gotham City where quite frankly, not much was ever expected of you. We find out just what happened to Tommy's parents in the original series, and it absolutely sucks in that it seems as though the fates were against the man. And what good he did manage to do was a feat in itself.

So, you have Tommy doing good in the only way he knows- with his gun and his best judgment based on his own experiences. A poor kid who was shipped out to Desert Storm as a marine, and then came home and kept doing what he knew best-how to fire a gun. And in this crossover, he saves the day with his guns.

Guns- not the preferred method of Supes and Bats. Both of whom are incapacitated halfway through the storyline. And so while they would have come up with a way to save things using might (Superman) or mindpower (Batman) Tommy had to do it instead. And while there are some very interesting parallels between Bruce Wayne and Tommy Monaghan (both orphaned, both trying to right wrongs with their own brand of justice, both unable to have normal relationships with women) it's interesting to watch the two of them spar. And it's interesting to watch the dynamic between Tommy and Superman- there is a fantastic Hitman comic where the two of them meet, and Supes is really the only superhero Tommy respects. And that respect is mutual, even though Supes finds out in this crossover that Tommy is a murderer.

All in all, this was a fantastic two-part series. I truly wish Garth Ennis would look into writing more comics in this universe, even if they are "lost chapters" from the series. Having John McCrea back for the artwork was perfect as well. The only bad part is having only two comics- it left me wanting more from what was in my opinion the most enjoyable comic book series I've ever read.

Bitch away at me. But every issue was a joy to read. How can Sandman be second to this? Apples and oranges, my dear.

Thanks, Garth.

(I almost forgot about Natt...he uh, has a rather unique and talented girlfriend in this one. Oh Garth, the bit about this and the cheese joke...however do you slip this shit past the guys at DC? Either way, there's tons of levity in these. People, buy them already!!! And then track down the trades- you'll see what I'm talking about.)

Holy Tequila!

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 03:33:46 GMT

Hot damn, that there is some fierce tequila!

Yeah, I hit the margaritas hard last night, because they were...uh, free. I thought tequila and I didn't get along, but apparently, we get along really well. I was feeling most excellent last night, and not too shabby this morning either (once I got some food in me.)

Of note-
NPR's "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!" podcast. A friend turned me on to this. As if I weren't a big enough geek. He's the guy I can say "Flash!" to and he will instantly join me in going "AHH ahhhh!" all Freddie Mercury/Queen style. Because that was a damn funny movie with a damn funny theme song. You can download the podcast here and can catch up on your current evens in a fun way. Lots of well-known names are featured too. Ah, the needle on my Geekometer is buried right now. http://www.npr.org/programs/waitwait/

I got my comics. I'll post on those later. I have a hankering for some Taco Bell, so I'm going to go forth and then watch the Venture Bros. The last few eps have been pretty cool.

It's good to have the homework finished for tonight.

Hitman Is Back...and I Missed It.

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 02:48:27 GMT

Well son of a bitch. My all time favorite comic book of all time comes back with a limited two book run and I missed it. (It came out last October...my fangirl powers must be waning.)

Now granted, this was pushed back for over a Motherlovin' (we're talking Hitman here, so I had to work that in) year, so I honestly thought that DC was just going to sit on it forever. However, Hitman was written by Garth Ennis, and his starpower alone warranted a release. Though the fact that Hitman was one of the best titles to come out of DC in years should be enough. Here's to the rest of the series getting released as trade paperbacks!

So here's what I had to pick up on eBay-

Oh, I know it's going to be so worth it. Tommy Monaghan and Natt that Hat reunited- all we need is Baytor and Section 8 and it's all good. Note the icon. And then steal that shit. Tommy needs the love. No, this comic needs the love.

Now, I'll be watching for the mailman all this week to bring the goods...

The Big Read- Book Meme

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 03:11:28 GMT

Yes...it's another book meme, borrowed from pir8fancier's LJ. It reckon's that the average person has only read 6 of the 100 books listed. Say what?

Now remember, this is all in good fun. Plus, I'm interested in what I've read. Let's take a look...

Type your cut contents here.
Book Meme
The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) I've deleted what they wrote for number 4, because way to be the thought police. This list isn't for people who don't read- it's for people who do.
5) Added my own thoughts.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen: Old school witty banter. Everyone wants a Darcy and wants to be a bit more like Lizzy. I re-read this occasionally, I love this that much.
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien: I was fucking bored out of my mind. All of those damn trees and the walking and the songs. Yes, flame me now and be quick about it. I don't care- I know my taste is questionable.
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling: Just a ton of fun. Plus, is got kids reading again.
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee: An incredible achievement.
6 The Bible: I went to a Marianist college. I read the Bible and the Apocrypha. So when I debate Christianity with you, I actually know. (Believe, well, that's another thing...)
7 Wuthering Heights
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell: Scary, scary stuff.
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens: It was okay. I liked A Tale of Two Cities far better.
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott: I read this a long time ago. I remember quite liking Jo, and them going "Huh?" when she ditched Laurie and marrying the creeping old Professor. Even when I was young, I knew there was something to be said about chemistry.
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare: I took a class on this as well. King Lear is easily my favorite work. There are many, many others that are close to my heart, but no other tragedy is so dark and twisted and yet has a glimmer of hope. Shakespeare truly understood the human spirit. I am still in awe.
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier: I read this after seeing the first half of an adaptation on Masterpiece Theatre. The book started out a bit, well descriptive, and them BAM- I could not put it down. There is some masterful storytelling going on in this underrated novel.
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien: WTF- it was for a class. I'm not a masochist. More fucking hobbits. Dammit.
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger: The first "teen novel." There's a little Holden Caulfield in all of us.
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger: I dig anything with time travel, and this novel started out with such potential. But good lord, this needed some heavy editing near the end. And hey, he was a hot, heterosexual librarian- you don't find those often, do you? I'm looking forward to the movie adaptation- I think they can do some really good things with it, especially with Eric Bana in the lead role.
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell: What a novel! Scarlett by Ripley and Rhett Butler's People don't even come close to the original.
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald: This is essential reading. I cannot believe how many movies and pop culture references come out of this novel. It was a masterpiece, just like most of Fitzgerald's work.
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams: Don't Panic, bitches! Long live Douglas Adams, the namesake of my fat-ass cat. Adams was once the script editor for Doctor Who, and wrote two fantastic stories- the unfinished Shada and City of Death. His humor was irreverent and always hit home with me. Good stuff.
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky: I tried the Brothers Karamazov this Spring, but didn't finish it. I'm coming back for you, I promise!
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck: Another classic- the use of the tertiary chapters is what did it for me. Steinbeck put some serious craftsmanship into this book.
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy:
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis: I read them, I got them, but they weren't my favorites. Christian myth, yes.
34 Emma - Jane Austen: I really enjoy the Austen, even if Emma was a bit of a snob at first.
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen: Oh, so bittersweet, until the end. It gives me hope though...
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis: Didn't we cover this in #33?
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne: I read Pooh. I thought it was boring, even as a kid.
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell: Just plain awesome. I had so much fun deciphering which animals represented which political group/figure in school. Definitely my cup of tea.
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown: Who didn't read this? I skipped the movie though- I just didn't see Tom Hanks (yawn) in the lead.
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery: I read it, but I liked the PBS adaptation better *runs and hides*
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood: A friend recced this to me. He said Atwood is worth reading. He's incredibly intelligent, so it's in my list.
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding: Frightening, but very good.
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan: Loved the book, loved the movie. This is emotionally evocative without being sappy, a la The Notebook.
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert: Boring
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen: A good movie as well. Oooh, Rickman in action!
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens: Oh so good. Love, war, politics, and sacrifice.
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley: I need to read this.
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy: Harrowing stuff.
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding: God, but this was fun. What a guilty pleasure- I probably wouldn't have liked it at all if it hadn't have been British.
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce: I've tried to twice now. The same friend who recommended Atwood recced an annotated version. I may go back and give it a third go with that version.
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell: I haven't read this, but his Black Swan Down Green is amazing.
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert: What? I had to find out what all the fuss was about.
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom: How the fuck did this trash make its way on this list? I feel nauseous!
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams: Waaaay back when...
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare: Ah, Hamlet.
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl: Twisted, like all Dahl. Yes, he was a children's writer. Too bad The Twits wasn't on here. I really liked that one.
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

There we go- I've read...56, by my quick and very dirty count. Though I think Harry Potter should count as 7, don't you? Yay me!

You Blew It

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 01:20:55 GMT

Soooo...you know how there's days where you're running late for work, but you almost make it by a hair? And so you just squeak in, and are seriously late by two minutes, and then a coworker says "Goodmorning BG!" really loudly?

Yeah, that was this morning. I don't think there was any maliciousness to this coworker's actions, but they totally screwed up my stealthy "sneak in and no one will notice" plan. Not that it was all that great at 8:30 in the morning, but really, it was early.

So I didn't get in trouble, but it was a bit of a dick move.

Badass Firefox Extension

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 08:16:18 GMT

OMFG, and I thought BugMeNot couldn't be topped. (Well okay, AdBlock is pretty awesome...)

For sheer ass-rockery (just made that up), there is the FireNES extension for Firefox. NES as in Nintendo Entertainment System. Oh yes, you can play NES games in your browser. There are tons to choose from. Oh, think of the possibilities...got some time to kill? Play some Super Mario Bros. Or fuckin' Contra- you can go all Johnny Rainbow on your ass at work!

On your break, of course.

Badass!!!!

If You're Going To Blaze Outside of El Apartmente...

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 07:59:13 GMT

...at least have the courtesy to smoke some decent weed. I mean seriously, that shit smells terrible. If it weren't so hot in my apartment, I'd close the windows, but it seems sort of silly since there's a nice breeze. It's 67 degrees outside and I'm having to turn on the air because of some tards and their cheap bud?

Dick move, boys. Dick move.

Time to Start Writing

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 04:07:18 GMT

I used to love writing. You know, the creative sort of writing. A few people even told me I was kind of good.

Some things happened, and I stopped. You know, the crap sort of things that happen and make you stop writing. I once told someone that once you put things on paper, they become real. Sometimes you don't want to give what is happening around you that sort of concrete quality- it's not denial, but just a means of beginning to processing all of that bad. And so I stopped. Life always had a tendency to bleed into my writing, and everything was tainted.

It's been five years. For a long time now, I've felt as though I've run out of stories worth telling. I forgot that writing allows me to shape reality, to resurrect those who never had a chance to live. Fuck the New York Times Bestseller's List. I'm going to write a novel, and it's just going to be for me.

Publish it? Now that's another thing altogether...

Oh Dear...a Meme

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 04:40:17 GMT

Sorry kids. It's late. I have no excuse for this, other than it looked fun. Taken from usagitsu's LJ.

Learn about me! Steal this shit for yourself! Roll your eyes- but it's my jackassery bitches! (My snark is italicized, BTW. Like you thought you could get away without some snark!)

1. YOUR SPY NAME: (middle name and current street name)
Helen Somerset

Type your cut contents here.

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, your favorite candy)
That woman is a bitch. It sounds mean, but she is, so I'm not using her name. Lot's o' history there. So I'm changing the rule to my Mom's side. That Grandma is a good person, indeed.
Helen Dove

3. YOUR RAP NAME: (first initial of first name, first three or four letters of your last name)
CStaf
Not bad...

4. YOUR GAMER TAG: (a favorite color, a favorite animal)
Turquoise Cat
Okay.

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Helen Dayton
Surprisingly dull. This name isn't going to get me on Dynasty, or even Gossip Girl. Wait- Chuck Bass? Dan Humphrey? Maybe...But why can't I be a Carrington?

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Staughdou
No Han? Leia? Ben? Luke? Shall we try hyphenating it?
Staugh-dou? Sta-ughdou.
I'm working this for the bottom up, BTW. And it's getting dumb. This may be the first and last meme of the BG LJ.

7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)
Neleh Hguabretup
I wake up to this sound in the morning. It's my cat, dueling with a hairball.

8. PORN STAR NAME: (first pet's name, the street you grew up on)
Ashley Wolf Creek
Uh...I'm a Native American porn star? I knew one person who's name ended up being "Damien Sunshine." It was great!

9. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile your mom drives)
The Blue Cavalier
Meets "The Three Musketeers?" Ugh.

10. YOUR ACTION HERO NAME: (first name of a main character in the last movie you watched, last food you ate)
Julie Bites
I watched Valley Girl a while back and had some Trader Joe's Pastry Bites tonight. And my action hero name is not going to be Stacy, Randy, or Tommy Pastry.

That was okay, but nothing special. ~~Reminds me of a guy I used to date~~...OH! I am in full snark mode. I guess that means it's time for bed.

Things To Do...

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 04:13:18 GMT

I should...

1. Start project that is due next Monday.
2. Finish said project.
3. Stop sneaking the smokes.
4. Eat better. (Or just more in general- the Dr. is going to kill me for not putting on any weight. It's a long, meds-related story. Definitely not as cool as it sounds. Being thin isn't as cool as I thought it'd be.)
5. *grumbles* Go out on a date. It's been a while, and I don't want to become one of those sad people. I'm busy with school and work, but I can't spend all my time (like tonight, cough cough) taking useless quizzes on Blogthings. Though the one about my personality based on the contents of my refrigerator was frighteningly accurate...
6. Clean the apartment. My bedroom looks like a mess, as I really need to put away the clean laundry. Bleh.

I love this icon, BTW. It is so badass. Oh, and...

7. Pony up and get a paid account. Even though it seems I only do this late at night, it seems this is the most I've ever written in a diary/journal in my life. I hope the whole idea of commitment doesn't freak me out. Though the idea of making my layout terribly pimp is very appealing.

Breaking News- a Recipe Could Determine Our Next President!

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 04:57:02 GMT

WTF? Holy shit, this ends up on the front of Yahoo, and people wonder why Microsoft wants to buy the company. As if it could get anymore inane. And this is coming from a Yahoo fan.

Apparently, Family Circle magazine holds a contest where the two contenders for First Lady submit a cookie recipe. Family Circle readers vote on their favorite. Recipe, that is. The article says the outcome of this vote has correctly determined the First Lady, and therefore our President for the past four elections. (Laura Bush- this is all your fault. Or perhaps your oatmeal chocolate chunk cookies' fault.)

If we're leaving it all up to the readers of Family Circle, then we're fucked. This is the same magazine that touts a diet that will help you lose 10 pounds in 5 weeks with a picture of a bigass cake on the front cover. Every month.

Here's the link to the Yahoo article. It's filled with all sorts of stuff you never needed to know.

I guess we need to start stuffing that Family Circle ballot box. It can be our revenge against the conservative media- take that you FOX news bastards!

My Half-Birthday. What to Do?

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 06:24:20 GMT

Hmm. My half-birthday approaches. What is the significance of this? It's a mile-marker, to see how the year is going for myself.

Seriously though, why not? What is life without a bit of levity? It has the potential to become a real suckfest if you let it. Which I'm not.

I'll have to figure out what the hell I'm going to do for this momentous occasion. I do believe alcohol and a bit of debauchery should be involved- don't you?

I deserve it- I am attending a Backstreet Men concert with a teen family member solely because I'm a good person. Well, decent.

Masochistic?

Fuck it- I'm going to bed. But I'm definitely buying myself something for my half-birthday.